A mother scorned - part I

[yish]

First segment of the short story.
---

The Interior ocean has not been kind to them. The shver-ship was the size of a floating fortress, one of the biggest vessel in the world, yet even this solid built behemoth was thrown around like a toy by the recent storms. The crew, at least the few that had to stay on deck were relentlessly flogged by wind and rain.

Urim Mogdun was glad this was not one of those nights. Although not that young anymore, he was proud of his excellent eyesight - he could spot even a tiny bird several miles away. It had saved his skin more than once in many a battle. Yet at that moment he was straining his eyes to the point were they almost popped out of their sockets, and still could not see anything farther than an arm’s length within the milky fog that surrounded the ship.

He stood at the very front of the vessel, and as frost set on his brown beard he paced from one foot to the other and clasped his hands together to keep himself warm. He had already done his shift earlier that day, but due to his bad gambling habits was now outside again. As he had lost a bet, he was forced to take his opponents shift on deck, and that was on top of the coin he lost.

Staring into the fog he wondered about the pointlessness of his current duty. It seemed the purpose was more to keep an eye on the restless mercenaries than spot anything on the horizon. He sighed. After months at sea he yearned for even the briefest walk on solid ground. He was on the lookout for exactly that, even if it would turn out not to be that darn island. But thanks to the fog even if it had been right in front of him he still wouldn’t be able to see it...

“Spotted anything?” Thorar Bazdun’s heavy hand slammed into Urim’s shoulder disrupting his trail of thoughts.

“You’d be the first to know.“ said Urim without looking at his comrade, who’s frame dominated behind him casting a hefty shadow ”Everyone’s used to the ship now, so not even a poor soul puking his guts out to laugh at. As it stands I’m almost hoping for a kraken, or any other bloody monsters to show up and provide some entertainment.”

“My sword itches too.“ said Thorar, ”We’ve been promised gold and blood, and so far I’ve seen neither. Maybe the Ossenthar bastard lied.” he spat into the water below to make his opinion clear about the human that started the whole expedition and his origins.

“I don’t think so,“ said Urim, ”he did give us directions and invested plenty of coin himself. He seemed pretty convinced about the whole thing if you ask me.” Urim didn’t add that he had personally seen the man’s grandfather’s notes and deemed them authentic.

“Convinced my ass, it will be the tenth month soon. And we just keep broadening the search. Directions...” Bazdun rolled his eyes “it pretty much boils down to ‘somewhere on the Interior ocean, that way.’” he finished the last bit with a mocking accent and waving his hand towards the front of the ship. “At this rate we’ll hit the Open Oceans sooner.”

Urim shrugged, the Ossenthar officer wasn’t with them on the ship. In fact the man didn’t even understand how important his discovery was. Urim’s tattoo, the one which covered his heart, burned with hate even at the though of the creatures they were looking for. And the fool wanted to send them to Ossenthar to be analyzed, prodded,  dissected and then very likely replicated. The naive human thought such a gift could help him rise in the ranks quickly.

That’s why after everything was prepared and the shver-ship was ready to embark on this journey, the Brotherhood commander gave orders to cleanup that loose end. He executed the order himself - Ossenthar’s intentions would have been in direct opposition to theirs. He wasn’t cruel, and made the end quick for the human. And he made sure to burn any of the papers he did not take.

He wished he could tell all this to his friend, his tongue has been itching for ages, but Thorar was here just as a hired mercenary. The Brotherhood didn’t survive this long by flapping their tongue left and right. But if the mission goes well, and Thorar proves himself, then maybe they could become not just friends, but Brothers as well.

He was going to say something to his impatient companion, but they were interrupted by a sharp whistle coming from the sky above. At once the nearby door leading to the sleeping quarters burst with a loud noise and a mass of dwarven bodies spilled onto the deck. As if they were just waiting with their ear to the door all this time. Shouting “To battle” and it’s less civilised equivalents they filled the open space eager for some action.

“You’d think their excitement would fade after all the false alarms...” Urim muttered.

“They must have seen something over the fog in the birds nest!” Thorar ignored the remark and clutching his sword rushed towards the crowd.
Urim was not convinced, so many times the whistle blew and all it turned out to be was just a piece of rock or some uninhabited island. But at the same time the excitement was starting to rub on him too, as his own sword was eager for an opportunity. He couldn’t leave his post, so he turned his back to the water and tried to listen in.

The commander appeared on the bridge wearing his distinctive navy blue coat. He quickly proceeded to address the bloodthirsty crowd.

“Men! This is it! We found the place were the beast live!” he gestured at the crowd as it erupted with noise, to quiet down the cheers. “We know they are weakest at dusk, so we need to position ourselves tonight, and send out scouts. Save your energy till then.”
The commander was known for his briefness when speaking. Urim knew though, that this was not where he got his respect from. Talk was cheap, but the sword he yielded had plenty of stories to tell. With a few sighs the crowd, disappointed with the waiting, dispersed into smaller groups.

“Look, the fog is fading”, Thorar walked up to Urim pointing at something behind him.

“Are you going to sign up for the scouting group?” Urim asked, as he turned to look over his shoulder.

“Hell yeah, I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to leave this dreaded ship. Even if it means I have to just watch the monsters and do nothing.” Thorar’s eyes lit up.

“Now you’re getting me jealous, I’m stuck on duty here for another few hours.” Urim sighed.

“I warned you not to play more dice!” Thorar burs out laughing, “Especially once you had more than one beer too many.” he gave Urim a friendly punch and pointed at something ahead of the ship. “What is that?”

“Ah, you mean the gold shimmering, that must be our cloaking bubble. Lady Ducilla always puts it up whenever we see land. I’m surprised you haven’t seen it earlier.”

“Well not everyone’s stuck on deck you know” Thorar gave him another nudge. “And speak of the devil.”
The sorceress must have walked onto the bridge deck just a moment ago. She wore a long robe that covered up her not so shapely body. Her curly brown hair moved with the wind as she held to the rails and looked towards the horizon. She did not even glance at the two dwarves below her or any one else for that matter. She spend most of her time with the commander and the rest of the crew rarely saw her outside of her private living quarters.

“You think she can really hide the whole shver-ship AND the expedition?” Thorar lowered his voice.

“For the gold I heard she is being paid she better be able to hide us from the Dragon itself.” Urim added in an even quieter whisper.

“I’ve heard, “ Thorin said, “that they don’t need to see you, they will hear your Name coming from miles away.”

“That’s just legends,” Bazdun said looking towards the island “and even if that was the case centuries ago, these here are one of the last ones around, if not the only survivors. All that inbreeding couldn’t have helped any of their skills.” They both chuckled.
Thorin was going to add something, eager to have the last word, when the ship suddenly ground to a halt almost tossing them overboard. This was as far as the massive vessel could go without getting stuck in shallow water.

[Bollomaster]

Bardzo mi się podoba. Pierwszy akapit bardzo klimatyczny i fajnie napisany. Czekam na więcej, a tymczasem kilka sugestii.

The Interior ocean has not been kind to them. The shver-ship was the size of a floating fortress, one of the biggest vessel in the world, yet even this solid built behemoth was thrown around like a toy by the recent storms. The crew, at least the few that had to stay on deck were relentlessly flogged by wind and rain.

Ja bym dodał 'and fire' - Toivoia leży na styku trzech mórz i gości mogło przynajmniej raz znieść na Pełne Morze, gdzie burze ogniowe to normalka.

Kwestia rozmiaru szwer-statku. To coś nie jest wielkie, to jest WIELKIE. Podczas normalnych, handlowych kursów szwer-statki przewożą w swoich trzewiach nie towary, ale całe statki. W związku z tym kilka moich propozycji:

“You’d be the first to know.“ said Urim without looking at his comrade, who’s frame dominated behind him casting a hefty shadow ”Everyone’s used to the ship now, so not even a poor soul puking his guts out to laugh at. As it stands I’m almost hoping for a kraken, or any other bloody monsters to show up and provide some entertainment.”

Nie wiem czy płynęłaś kiedyś promem pełnomorskim. Na takim statku praktycznie nie czujesz, że jesteś na morzu. Tym bardziej zahartowani najemnicy nie powinni mieć aż takich problemów. Oczywiście można argumentować, że załoga przeszła przez ciężkie burze, w pierwszym akapicie piszesz że statkiem porządnie miotało. Ale mimo to, ja bym dał coś w rodzaju "nie zgubiła drogi do sracza" - szwer-statek jest tak olbrzymi, że jest to jak najbardziej możliwe.

“My sword itches too.“ said Thorar, ”We’ve been promised gold and blood, and so far I’ve seen neither. Maybe the Ossenthar bastard lied.” he spat into the water below to make his opinion clear about the human that started the whole expedition and his origins.

Ja bym dodał coś w stylu "kłębiącą się kilkanaście pięter niżej"

“They must have seen something over the fog in the birds nest!” Thorar ignored the remark and clutching his sword rushed towards the crowd.

Ja bym dał 'bird's tower', taki mały słowotwór. Nie wiem w jaki sposób napędza się szwer-statek który zszedł z jednego z tradycyjnych kursów, ale to niemal na pewno nie jest wiatr. W związku z czym maszty są raczej niepotrzebne - zostały zastąpione po prostu wieżami, które służą za punkty obserwacyjne + stanowiska bojowe.

The commander was known for his briefness when speaking. Urim knew though, that this was not where he got his respect from. Talk was cheap, but the sword he yielded had plenty of stories to tell. With a few sighs the crowd, disappointed with the waiting, dispersed into smaller groups.

Jeśli chcesz podkreślić różnicę Bractwo - najemnicy, możesz trochę to rozwinąć. Tzn jeśli Bractwo wzięło na tą wyprawę krasnoludów wulgarnych ci goście mogą mieć naprawdę duże problemy z agresją i dyscypliną, szczególnie po 11 miesiącach.

Thorin was going to add something, eager to have the last word, when the ship suddenly ground to a halt almost tossing them overboard. This was as far as the massive vessel could go without getting stuck in shallow water.

Tutaj widzę dwa problemy.
1) rozpędzony szwer-statek nie zatrzymuje się tak łatwo - im większa masa, tym dłużej powinno trwać zwalnianie. To też mogłabyś trochę rozwinąć, np słychać trzask drewna i jęk żelaza kiedy statek gwałtownie traci szybkość. (Tzn. sam motyw tego że statek w jednej chwili się zatrzymuje jest spoko - to w końcu fantasy - ale można jakoś podkreślić że nie jest to ani naturalne, ani na dłuższą metę zdrowe).
2) kwestia bezpieczeństwa. Myślę że załoga powinna zostać powiadomiona że zacznie się tak niebezpieczny manewr. Wyżej piszesz o maskującej magii, więc może to być nawet wycie syren albo huk trąb. To jest bardzo fajna, dynamiczna scena, ale warto pokazać że to nie płyną jacyś zwariowani piraci którym wszystko jedno czy ktoś wypadnie za burtę, ale naprawdę ogarnięta rasa.

Ciekawy patent z tatuażem-symbolem nienawiści.

A, i jeszcze jedno. Bractwo, braterstwo to pojęcie wywodzące się od... Smoków, na przykład Braterstwo Rafaitów: http://soap.kasiotfur.com/index.php?topic=105.0 (Rafaici są Pierworodnymi stworzonymi przez Smoki). Ciekawa ironia - chociaż krasnoludy poruszyły podczas swojej wojny niebo i ziemię, to nie zdołały całkowicie "oczyścić" ani świata, ani samych siebie.

[Bollomaster]

http://soap.kasiotfur.com/index.php?topic=237.msg746#msg746

Pod tym linkiem jest skan opowiadania Stanisława Lema "Dwa potwory". Może cię zainspiruje (idea bezlitosnej, nieubłaganej nienawiści, która może się skończyć tylko ze swoim obiektem).

[yish]

Super, dzieki za komentarze, naprawde przydatene!

The Interior ocean has not been kind to them. The shver-ship was the size of a floating fortress, one of the biggest vessel in the world, yet even this solid built behemoth was thrown around like a toy by the recent storms. The crew, at least the few that had to stay on deck were relentlessly flogged by wind and rain.

Ja bym dodał 'and fire' - Toivoia leży na styku trzech mórz i gości mogło przynajmniej raz znieść na Pełne Morze, gdzie burze ogniowe to normalka.

Dobry punkt, poszerzylam o to pierwszy akapit.

Kwestia rozmiaru szwer-statku. To coś nie jest wielkie, to jest WIELKIE. Podczas normalnych, handlowych kursów szwer-statki przewożą w swoich trzewiach nie towary, ale całe statki. W związku z tym kilka moich propozycji:

“You’d be the first to know.“ said Urim without looking at his comrade, who’s frame dominated behind him casting a hefty shadow ”Everyone’s used to the ship now, so not even a poor soul puking his guts out to laugh at. As it stands I’m almost hoping for a kraken, or any other bloody monsters to show up and provide some entertainment.”

Nie wiem czy płynęłaś kiedyś promem pełnomorskim. Na takim statku praktycznie nie czujesz, że jesteś na morzu. Tym bardziej zahartowani najemnicy nie powinni mieć aż takich problemów. Oczywiście można argumentować, że załoga przeszła przez ciężkie burze, w pierwszym akapicie piszesz że statkiem porządnie miotało. Ale mimo to, ja bym dał coś w rodzaju "nie zgubiła drogi do sracza" - szwer-statek jest tak olbrzymi, że jest to jak najbardziej możliwe.

Nie nie plynelam promem Ale zostawilabym to, bo moze np ze wzgledu na naped statek wibruje, albo jakies powolne falowanie (ktore podobno potrfi byc gorsze, niz wieksze ruchy (poczytalam sobie nieco o statkach i motion sickness ). Co do najemnikow, moze zaprawieni na ladzie, ale to moze byc dla wielu pierwsza podroz tego typu statkiem na taka odleglosc

“My sword itches too.“ said Thorar, ”We’ve been promised gold and blood, and so far I’ve seen neither. Maybe the Ossenthar bastard lied.” he spat into the water below to make his opinion clear about the human that started the whole expedition and his origins.

Ja bym dodał coś w stylu "kłębiącą się kilkanaście pięter niżej"

“They must have seen something over the fog in the birds nest!” Thorar ignored the remark and clutching his sword rushed towards the crowd.

Ja bym dał 'bird's tower', taki mały słowotwór. Nie wiem w jaki sposób napędza się szwer-statek który zszedł z jednego z tradycyjnych kursów, ale to niemal na pewno nie jest wiatr. W związku z czym maszty są raczej niepotrzebne - zostały zastąpione po prostu wieżami, które służą za punkty obserwacyjne + stanowiska bojowe.

Dobry punkt.

The commander was known for his briefness when speaking. Urim knew though, that this was not where he got his respect from. Talk was cheap, but the sword he yielded had plenty of stories to tell. With a few sighs the crowd, disappointed with the waiting, dispersed into smaller groups.

Jeśli chcesz podkreślić różnicę Bractwo - najemnicy, możesz trochę to rozwinąć. Tzn jeśli Bractwo wzięło na tą wyprawę krasnoludów wulgarnych ci goście mogą mieć naprawdę duże problemy z agresją i dyscypliną, szczególnie po 11 miesiącach.

Thorin was going to add something, eager to have the last word, when the ship suddenly ground to a halt almost tossing them overboard. This was as far as the massive vessel could go without getting stuck in shallow water.

Tutaj widzę dwa problemy.
1) rozpędzony szwer-statek nie zatrzymuje się tak łatwo - im większa masa, tym dłużej powinno trwać zwalnianie. To też mogłabyś trochę rozwinąć, np słychać trzask drewna i jęk żelaza kiedy statek gwałtownie traci szybkość. (Tzn. sam motyw tego że statek w jednej chwili się zatrzymuje jest spoko - to w końcu fantasy - ale można jakoś podkreślić że nie jest to ani naturalne, ani na dłuższą metę zdrowe).
2) kwestia bezpieczeństwa. Myślę że załoga powinna zostać powiadomiona że zacznie się tak niebezpieczny manewr. Wyżej piszesz o maskującej magii, więc może to być nawet wycie syren albo huk trąb. To jest bardzo fajna, dynamiczna scena, ale warto pokazać że to nie płyną jacyś zwariowani piraci którym wszystko jedno czy ktoś wypadnie za burtę, ale naprawdę ogarnięta rasa.

Spoko, to nie jest normalny sposob hamowania, stad w sumie zaskoczenie, ale dobry punkt, dodam nieco wiecej opisu.

Ciekawy patent z tatuażem-symbolem nienawiści.

A, i jeszcze jedno. Bractwo, braterstwo to pojęcie wywodzące się od... Smoków, na przykład Braterstwo Rafaitów: http://soap.kasiotfur.com/index.php?topic=105.0 (Rafaici są Pierworodnymi stworzonymi przez Smoki). Ciekawa ironia - chociaż krasnoludy poruszyły podczas swojej wojny niebo i ziemię, to nie zdołały całkowicie "oczyścić" ani świata, ani samych siebie.

[yish]

Part II

- - -

Thorar and his two companions, Burkin and Saghal, were squeezed into a tight little boat and were slowly rowing their way towards the island. He had a big grin on his face, glad he got chosen for the scouting mission. He thought of Urim for a moment, and how his friend must be grinding his teeth right now stuck on the ship. If that wasn’t good enough he managed to get the other two to do the rowing for him. The dull crystal in his hands cloaked their presence and holding it was a great excuse to avoid any work.

Around them several other boats with dwarves crammed inside moved towards an empty shore. Their fleet was far from big, but still impressive numbers for a scouting expedition. The night was dark, but the moon lit their way. All he could hear was the oars of all the boats rhythmically hitting the water. As they drew closer to the shore he spotted something on the coast.

“Steer to the left” he said to his mates and waved at the other boats pointing to the rocky side of the shore, “the caves will be perfect to hide the boats if we need to stay beyond sunrise.”

“Agreed.” came the reply from Burkin, and understanding nods from some of the nearby boats. They couldn’t hear him, but understood his suggestion.

“There doesn’t seem to be much activity.” Thorar said.

“You’re right,” said Burkin,” I counted maybe three figures on the beach around the evening, but hard to say anything more from the distance. And now they’re all gone.”

“Maybe they spotted us and are hiding and waiting to pounce.” Saghal voiced his concern.

“I think I told you five times already” Thorar sighed ”no one can hear or see us, as long as we’re inside the bubble.”

“How come we can see the other boats then? All this sorcery is making me uncomfortable.” Saghal would not give up.

“Lady Ducilla made it so that we can see the other bubbles when we’re within one.” Thorar rolled his eyes at the silly questions “Otherwise we’d trip over each other.”

He was relieved they reached shallow waters soon. All these questions from Saghal were starting to annoy him. If his companion only listened more carefully to what others said he wouldn’t need so much explaining all the time.

Thorar jumped out into the water and his mates followed in his footsteps. His arms immediately covered with goosebumps and the wet clothes weighed him down a bit. He was waist deep in the water and glad he didn’t have anything in his pockets he watched the others. Burkin took out a notebook from the boat and placed the oars inside it next tot each other. Saghal without anything else to occupy his hands had no choice but to pull the vessel towards the shore.

As Thorar walked in front the very faint glow of the crystal illuminated the clear waters. He spotted several small fish scattering away from underneath his feet.

“Stay close” he said “the cloaking bubble will mute any noise we make and keep us hidden but it’s not very big.”

As if to confirm his words the air near Saghal’s arm started shimmering with gold dust. He quickly moved closer. At the sight of the expression on his face both Thorar and Burkin burst out laughing.

“At least it’s easy to see when you’re about to leave it.” Thorar added. 

When they finally reached the shore, Saghal dragged the boat inside the cave, and so did the rest of the scouting units. Thorar lead his group away and saw others quickly disappear from his sight. Each unit had their assigned area to cover so together they could gather as much information as possible.

He led his companions up a steep hill. Burkin walked alongside him with his little book and took notes and drew sketches of the surrounding. Saghal walked last, often glancing over his shoulder, making sure nothing could surprise them from behind.

“It feels so good to be off that bloody ship.” said Thorar, as they finished climbing the hill. A grassy meadow unfolded before them with a path cutting through it that lead up to the cliffs on the left. To the right an open space with more hills. The landscape was covered with vast old trees. Sparse near the coast,  their numbers increased further inland forming a forest.

“It’s quite pleasant here,” said Saghal, “almost makes me feel sorry that we’ll probably have to burn the place to the ground.”

“Don’t get too sentimental,” Burkin said, “if it gets burned at least it means a decent battle. You’ll be able to buy yourself a view just as nice in our own countryside when we get back. Without monsters in your back-yard.”

“What do you know, maybe I need a few critters to keep me fit” said Saghal with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, or maybe so you could throw your woman to them, when she talks too much.” Burkin added, as Saghal’s wife was known for being loud and demanding.

It was still a few hours before dawn, so Thorar decided to stick to the open space, where they could see landmarks in the bright moonlight. The wildlife was mostly asleep, the only sounds he could hear were of their own footsteps and a variety of insects buzzing, around. From time to time a howl or some other predator noise reached his ears. As they pressed ahead Thorar spotted a dozen or so nocturnal animals that they startled when the animals accidentally wound up inside the bubble.

“Hey, look, apples!” Burkin pointed at the huge trees, heavy with fruit, arching over their heads. His eyes wide at the sight of the familiar food, he quickly grasped one from a nearby branch. “It must be a wild orchard.”

“Wild, or not this tastes so much better than the provisions.” Thorar mumbled with his mouth full of fruit already. Burkin could spend time staring at his food as much as he wanted, but Thorar preferred to taste his food rather than admire it. The other two seeing him eat quickly followed suit.

“Make sure you stuff your pockets.” he mumbled with his mouth full. He wasn’t sure yet, if he would eat the fruit that he was cramming inside his jacket or sell it to Urim and others stuck on the shver-ship.

“Why do you think it’s wild?” asked Saghal, sitting on the soft grass, once they filled their bellies.

“Just look at this,” Burkin gestured all around him, “these trees must be over a hundred years old and there is no sign of trimming or other maintenance. Besides, what self respecting gardener would plant trees like this without any order, and no straight lines? The layout is an absolutely inefficient use of space.”

The other two nodded in silent agreement, as they licked sweat apple juice from their lips.

* * *

Before they saw the heard of sheep, they heard it coming. Like a small stampede the animals came running from behind a hill and they spilled into the meadow like a white river. Thorar and his unit watched it from afar hiding in the shade of a bunch of pine trees. It was getting lighter, as the dawn loomed over the horizon, but the sun hasn’t risen yet.

Finally a shadow appeared over the heard and at first Thorar couldn’t quite see a clear shape. He realized though that something was flying behind the animals causing the stampede. Soon the shadow drew closer revealing the creature’s silhouette. The three dwarves gasped and stood with wide open mouths as they recognized a dragon shape in the shadow - leathery wings stretched out, the length of several men across, an elongated body and the shadow’s tail moving snake like from side to side. With each flap of it’s wings it was closer to emerging from behind the hill.

“Remember, we’re meant to just observe” Thorar whispered, despite the fact that no one could hear them outside of the bubble.

“What if it attacks us, you know, by sensing our names?” Saghal whispered too.

“Don’t be stupid, Urim told me it’s just legends.” Thorar reassured himself just as much as his companions.

“But still, what if it does attack us?” Saghal pressed on.

“Then we will have to kill it and hope none of the other natives notice.” Burkin said in his usual matter of fact tone.

It had been a long time since anyone fought an actual dragon or even met one. And although in his mind Thorar always imagined piercing the Eon’s heart with one swift blow of his sword, just like the heroes from legends, he cowered a bit just then about to face the enemy.

They all readied their weapons in anticipation and crouched down all set to attack whatever emerged from the other side of the hill. That is if it decided to treat them as breakfast, instead of the sheep. And then they burst out laughing.

What he thought was a giant monster, turned out to be just the shadow playing tricks with his mind. The creature did have wings, and a tail, but was likely not even Thorar’s height. It had a human face and dark hair twisted into a plait, the humanoid shape looked like a child. The dwarves composed themselves and put their blades aside. However when it passed by them and performed a cheerful barrel roll mid air, they couldn’t help but start laughing again.

“Lo and behold the mighty dragon!” Burkin kept grinning at Saghal, as he clutched his knees shaking from laughter.

[Bollomaster]

Around them several other boats with dwarves crammed inside moved towards an empty shore. Their fleet was far from big, but still impressive numbers for a scouting expedition. The night was dark, but the moon lit their way. All he could hear was the oars of all the boats rhythmically hitting the water. As they drew closer to the shore he spotted something on the coast.

Mam wrażenie, że wiosła owinięte szmatami nie zanurzają się w wodzie niemal bezszelestnie (trzeba by to sprawdzić). Niby mała rzecz, ale od razu wyglądasz na większego pro.

“Just look at this,” Burkin gestured all around him, “these trees must be over a hundred years old and there is no sign of trimming or other maintenance. Besides, what self respecting gardener would plant trees like this without any order, and no straight lines? The layout is an absolutely inefficient use of space.”

Bardzo krasnoludzka wypowiedź!

Przeczytane i dalej mi się podoba. Właściwie brakowało mi tylko jakiejś szerszej panoramy wyspy kiedy krasnoludy do niej podpływały. Wulkan niemal na pewno powinien być widoczny nad drzewami + (ewentualnie) dziwne zjawiska atmosferyczne z Pełnego Morza i Otwartych Oceanów + (może) iglica świątyni (mam wrażenie że była naprawdę wysoka).

[yish]

Co do wiosel, to w sumie chyba tylko swoja lodke by mogl slyszec. A czemu by mialy byc owiniete szmatami? Ze mnie jest anty-pro lodkarskie, wiec pytam

Z panorama, dobry punkt. Odnotowano i dorzuce podczas nastepnej rundy edycji

Part III wrzuce za pare minut.

[yish]

Part III

There were many people in the room, most of them dwarves, but a few mercenaries from other races were also present. All squeezed shoulder to shoulder around a sturdy table that filled in the centre of the room. It was not a small cabin, but with the amount of bodies present if was quickly getting warm inside. The commander stood at the head of the table, hunched over a map of the island. The drawing was full of blank spots and crooked lines, with corrections sprinkled everywhere. The ship’s position was marked with a pawn; a second one rested over what looked like a drawing of a village. There were scribbles in various places, some underlined, others crossed out with more notes over them. Several smudges marked places were a too eager hand touched the fresh ink.

Higher rank dwarves dressed in officer uniforms stood closer to the table. The rest crowded behind them wanting to get as close to the commander as possible and trying to catch a glimpse of the map and the other papers that surrounded it. Urim, was also there - standing among the officers, wearing a gray coat and an utmost serious expression. Although usually he would stand to the commander’s right today he took the place at the other end of the table. As he wasn’t part of any of the scouting expeditions he let others stand closer, so they could report their findings.

“The creatures don’t speak any know language from what we could hear.” a dwarf standing to the left of the commander reported. He adjusted a round set of glasses and continued. “It sounds very primitive, and seems similar to the sound their small dragons make. However we have not observed what could be a conversation between the dragons and their hosts. The humanoids are almost exclusively female and every one of them was accompanied by a dragon. We have seen one male, with no wings and no dragon companion though, but more could be hiding within the large temple located in the centre of the village.”

“Good point, there wasn’t much detail about what was inside the structure.” the commander flipped a few papers back and forth that lay in front of him as if looking for something and then turned his head to the next officer.

“The information the Ossentharian provided looks correct. The small dragons possess and corrupt the Draphonys creating some sort of a despicable hybrid. The results are human sized, of average height, they look fairly normal when they are not mounted by the dragon. When that happens the body of the dragon disappears inside their back, while the wings and tails stay outside. The dragons themselves are about this high”, the dwarf extended his arm to demonstrate the height - his hand hovered just above his waist.

“Even phony dragons can be dangerous, more so when they are corrupted by the real thing. Did anyone get a chance to observe any of their powers?” the commander asked.

“It looks like they vary” said the dwarf to his right “and different creatures present different abilities. My unit has witnessed fire wielding specimens.”

“I’ve seen some working with plants - but it looked mostly harmless.” someone from the back chimed in.

“There are golems in the village,” continued the dwarf to the commander’s right, ”they mainly carried things around, but we have to consider that they could be used in a fight. Overall, none of the scouts found any defence structures, traps or alarms. We managed to get in and out of the island unnoticed, so the element of surprise should be on our side.”

“There is very little Tempest in the whole area,” said a short dwarf, dressed in a black vest with silver stitches and embroidery on his collar and sleeves, “but most groups reported encountering at least one place where it could be sensed above normal levels. This is actually very encouraging, as we all know fighting when exposed to Tempest is a lot less predictable.”

“This is good news indeed,” said the commander, “that’s always the worst part when dealing with Eons.”

Several others reported their finding from the scouting expedition. As the topic moved to terrain, and tactical planning of the best possible assault route the commander placed small trinkets on the map. These marked various locations and represented units and their positions. The commander bit into an apple brought from the island and asked everyone but the officers to leave as the briefing was over.

* * *

Even though they knew no one could hear or see them inside the cloaking bubble the three dwarves still crouched and walked close to the ground. Old habits die hard. Thorar was carrying the crystal again and lead his companions to their designated position right at the brim of the village.

He enjoyed walking on solid ground and those several trips they did during the last few days before the attack were a welcome change from the constant rocking of the shver-ship. He was glad that they had to strike exactly at dusk, as it meant they left for the island early and he could enjoy a brisk walk in the sunshine. Sure they had sunny days during their voyage, but it couldn’t compare to walking about in the picturesque landscapes of hills and orchards.

They reached their destination early, which did not come as a surprise to Thorar. With the map still fresh in his mind he knew they were on the edge of the village which was closest to the shore.

He looked around for a short while for a suitable place to rest and wait till the evening. Even with the protection of the bubble they still needed to be out of the way. The crystal would not stop one of the natives from stumbling inside its protective cover. The plan depended on all units striking at the same time, so they couldn't afford to be discovered early.

A big boulder nearby looked like a suitable location. They would have their backs protected, yet still be able to observe the area between them and the village. Thorar walked up to it and sat down leaning against the rock.

While Thorar and Saghal shared the apples they picked on the way Burkin was busy scribbling in his notebook. This seemed to be something he did for pleasure, as Thorar knew there was no need for further notes with the attack planned and all. He tried to sneak a peak, but his companion was not in the mood to share.
An hour passed as they sat in silence waiting for the events to unfold. They kept themselves busy by polishing and sharpening their weapons. Thorar re-tied his shoe laces, making sure his boots were done up tight and adjusted his chain mail a few times.

From his position Thorar couldn’t see much of what was going on in the village itself. Occasionally he caught a glimpse of one of the creatures walking from one place to another. Sometimes he could guess the purpose of their movement, like when they carried water, food or other supplies. Other times it was a mystery. The shreds of language he could hear were not much help either as they were so far from Common, that not even a single word sounded familiar.

“Soon it will begin” Saghal bit into the fruit looking at the horizon.

Thorar nodded. He had watched the herd of sheep they’ve seen earlier returning home. Once again a young beast was flying behind them, the sound of its wings flapping and an occasional cry seemed to be enough to keep the animals moving in the right direction. He wasn’t sure if it was the same creature, as to him they all looked the same. They all wore white tunics, and had their black, straight hair cut in a similar fashion, very few wore any visible jewelery. Someone on the ship mentioned their eyes differed, but from afar Thorar couldn’t really tell.

“Enough of this leisure” Burking got up and brushed off a few twigs and straws from his trousers. “Time to get moving, we need to be ready when the crystal’s power runs out.”

Throwing away the apple core Thorar stood up as well. The sun was just starting to set. He walked across the grassy piece of land towards the back of the nearest house. With the corner of his eye he noticed another group wandering towards the village in the distance.

“Hope they blow the horn soon.” he said pocketing the crystal “It could be handy to use the bubble during the attack while it’s power lasts.”

“I can imagine their faces” said Burkin grinning, “as they drop like flies killed off by an invisible enemy.”

And almost as if granting his wish a deep loud sound filled the air. The battle horns of the Brotherhood were the signal they have been waiting for.

[yish]

Part II - revised bit

(ostrzegam, ze moze byc z bykami )

- - -

The island’s coast line varied quite a lot. From the side the shver-ship approached it, the Interior ocean spilled deep into the land creating a bay with a shore filled with sandy beaches intertwined with rocky caverns. Outside of the bay high cliffs formed an impenetrable bank making the bay entrance resemble a gate within the polished rock walls surrounding the Interior side of the island.

Thorar and his two companions, Burkin and Saghal, were squeezed into a tight little boat and were slowly rowing their way towards the bay entrance. He had a big grin on his face, glad he got chosen for the scouting mission. He thought of Urim for a moment, and how his friend must be grinding his teeth right now stuck on the ship. If that wasn’t good enough he managed to get the other two to do the rowing for him. The dull crystal in his hands cloaked their presence and holding it was a great excuse to avoid any work.

Around them several other boats with dwarves crammed inside moved in the same direction. Their fleet was far from big, but still impressive numbers for a scouting expedition. It was late into the night, but the moon shone brightly letting them easily navigate through the waters. It was so peaceful, that all he could hear were the two oars rhythmically hitting the water.

He looked around taking in the details of this place. The Open Oceans to Thorar’s right blurred all the way to the horizon. The ever changing nature of this Azure water caused cold sweat to form on his neck whenever he glanced into it. Outside of Albion ships, anything that ventured onto the deceptively calm waves of the Open Oceans was never seen again. He even heard of a shver-ship that was lost in there. In fact, anything to do with Azure freaked him out. He cherished his dwarven, dreamless sleep and preferred to stay well grounded in Crimson while other races risked Azure born nightmares instead of a good night’s rest. The unpredictable, ever changing waters, where all the possibilities of time past and future played out at once were at the top of his list of things to avoid.

Trying to take his eyes away from the Open Oceans he shifted his gaze to the side of the island they touched. He was at first surprised to discover that Azure did not finish at the cost. It cloaked in a bluish mist almost one third of the land mass. Although much of the view was obscured, he could still see a part of a forest that did not stand still. He also realized what has been puzzling him about the view - birds flying over that area, rather than go from one point to another would appear out of thin air, and after a short flight simply disappear again. The whole sight was so jarring, that his head was starting to throb a little.

Fortunately the rest of the island looked more natural. The centre, as he was guessing, was marked with a high reaching white tower. It reflected the moonlight and cut through its surroundings like a sharp long thorn. Thorar thought it must have been massive, considering they could see it all the way from the shver-ship. It stood tall above the treetops and hills and there was nothing natural about it.

Yet even the tower was dwarfed by the colossal mountain to Thorar’s left. The vibrating air above the flat peak confirmed his suspicions - he was looking at an active volcano. Luckily for the natives the lava must have flown towards the water on the other side of the island, rather than towards the centre of the land. He thought of his mates burnt in the fire storm, the mountain must have been looming over the Teeming Sea. The island was literally located were the three types of waters met, that is if you could speak of waters when it came to the elemental sea below the mountain.

He dwelt on that topic a bit, imagining what precious stones could lie on that coast. Thinking about ways to mine an active volcano he didn’t realize how close they got to the shore in the little boat. Snapping back to reality he spotted something on the coast.

“Steer to the left” he said to his mates and waved at the other boats pointing to the rocky side of the shore, “the caves will be perfect to hide the boats if we need to stay beyond sunrise.”

[Bollomaster]

“The information the Ossentharian provided looks correct. The small dragons possess and corrupt the Draphonys creating some sort of a despicable hybrid. The results are human sized, of average height, they look fairly normal when they are not mounted by the dragon. When that happens the body of the dragon disappears inside their back, while the wings and tails stay outside. The dragons themselves are about this high”, the dwarf extended his arm to demonstrate the height - his hand hovered just above his waist.

Ja bym tu wrzucił konkretny wymiar - większość krasnoludów ma naturalny dar do liczb i mierzenia.

I nawiązując do tego: cały raport jest fajny, ale brakuje oszacowania liczby przeciwników.

“There is very little Tempest in the whole area,” said a short dwarf, dressed in a black vest with silver stitches and embroidery on his collar and sleeves, “but most groups reported encountering at least one place where it could be sensed above normal levels. This is actually very encouraging, as we all know fighting when exposed to Tempest is a lot less predictable.”

“This is good news indeed,” said the commander, “that’s always the worst part when dealing with Eons.”

Tutaj mam trochę wątpliwości:
1) jeśli wyprawa jest dobrze przygotowana i zaplanowana + jeśli ma przewagę zaskoczenia, to zwiększenie losowości nie jest niczym dobrym. Generalnie, Zamieć bardziej szkodzi stronie silniejszej niż słabszej. W normalnej sytuacji słaby musi przegrać - w Zamieci może wydarzyć się wszystko, między innymi jego wygrana;
2) jeśli Zamieć jest mimo wszystko niska, to może sugerować że... w pobliżu nie ma Eona. W "normalnej" sytuacji Eon jest otoczony przez wiry Zamieci, która odkształca rzeczywistość całym obszarze na który oddziałuje. Taki stan rzeczy jak wyżej prowadzi właściwie tylko do dwóch wniosków: nie ma tam żadnego Smoka - albo Smok jest uśpiony. Czyli np. "kapitan spojrzał w milczeniu na oficerów. Wszyscy wiedzieli co oznaczają te słowa: Smoka albo nie ma, albo jest głęboko uśpiony. Ze względu na ogrom misji chcieli wierzyć w to drugie."

Throwing away the apple core Thorar stood up as well. The sun was just starting to set. He walked across the grassy piece of land towards the back of the nearest house. With the corner of his eye he noticed another group wandering towards the village in the distance.

Mogłoby być coś w rodzaju "chciał schować do kieszeni, ale wzruszył ramionami i rzucił ogryzek na ziemię". Niby głupota, ale gdyby zwiadowcy rozrzucali wcześniej tyle ogryzków, "bestie" mogłyby się zorientować że mają towarzystwo.


Podoba mi się twoja alternatywa Szkarłat-Lazur. Mimo to, wydaje mi się że krasnolud-najemnik używałby raczej prostego Czerwień-Błękit. Mogłabyś stworzyć ciekawy kontrast w ewentualnej scenie z Lady Ducillą która mówi np. że na Szkarłatnej stronie wyspy wszyscy wrogowie zostali zabici - na co jakiś rozpalony walką krasnolud odpowiada że on wie tylko co to jest prawdziwa Czerwień, czerwień krwi, a nie żaden chędożony Szkarłat.

Taki pomysł. Przydałoby się jasne określenie DLACZEGO ci krasnoludowie tutaj są. Generalnie zaznaczyłaś to już wcześniej (najemnicy), ale widać że jest jakaś wewnętrzna grupa z bardziej złożoną motywacją. Np. w scenie mordowania dzieci taki Urim może się na chwilę zachawać - w końcu to dzieci - ale zdoła się przemóc, w końcu to jedna z ostatnich bitew trwającej tysiące lat wojny o lepszy świat.

Wersja poprawiona - błędów nie zauważyłem, za to wzmianka o czerwonej naturze krasnoludów bardzo fajna, widok wyspy też w porządku.

[yish]

Dobry punkt, moze faktycznie zmienie rozmiar.

"The dragons themselves are between one and three feet tall.”, the dwarf extended his arm to demonstrate the height for those non dwarven mercenaries that were not accustomed to dealing with numbers - his hand hovered just above his waist."

I racja, zapomnialam oszacowac potwory

Zamiec 1) toz wlasnie sie ciesza ze zamieci malo
Zamiec 2) dobry punkt, poszerze nieco dialog zeby to uwzglednic

Ogryzek - tak to wlasnie widzialam, ze rzuca, bo to juz nie ma znaczenia. Fakt, moze podkresle, ze wczesniej sie tak nie zachowywali

Blue/Azure sa oba tlumaczeniem Blekitu. Jakos tak Red - Blue mi sie nie podoba jako tlumaacznie. Rozumiem, ze tutaj myslisz w sensie pokazania roznicy jezykowej/kulturowej/pojmowania itp. Ale sa dwa problemy

1) Nie planuje sceny osobnej z Ducilla (ona zostaje na statku podczas bitwy - nie jest magiem bojowym)
2) Moze jakby wystepowaly slowa w dialogu to moznaby podkreslic roznice miedzy oficjalnym okresleniem a krasnoludzkim podejsciem. Nie bardzo mam pretekst do rozmowy o czerwieni. Blekit moze byc omawiany nieco pozniej kiedy trafiaja do Blekitnego lasu, ale czy by uzyli jakiegos innego slowa niz Azure (ktore nie bedzie Blue)?

Mordowanie dzieci - argh, skad dorwales reszte opowiadania? )))) Tylko nie Urim a Thorar  ma moralne dylematy.

Wydawalo mi sie ze jest w miare jasne ze poluja na smoka Albo cokolwiek z nim zwiazanego. Raczej wolalabym uniknac podawania tego prosto na tacy czytelnikowi, stad w roznych scenach po trochu dodaje do tego obrazu nienawisci. Moze bedzie to troche lepiej widac podczas raportu jak dodam wiecej o Zamieci i smokach.

[yish]

Part IV

- - -

The bubble lasted for another few minutes. The creatures that wondered between the buildings turned out to be easy pray. The first one Thorar encountered was on its own, sitting on a bench and staring into space with its purple eyes. As the bubble engulfed the creature, it seemed not to notice their presence. An easy kill, Thorar thought as he sent the creature's head flying.

The next target proved more challenging. Unaware of the execution that just took place two beasts walked straight at him. When they entered inside the area protected by the crystal the creatures stopped and looked at him wide-eyed. And as they saw the blood soaked headless body of their kindred the first one turned to run.

Saghal plunged his dagger into the scaly skin on her back. A dragon eye stared at him from between the Draphony’s shoulder blades. Thorar noticed his companion take a step back, while the creature in front of him cried out in pain, stumbled and fell to one knee. Glad the bubble muted the sound he looked at the other creature in front of him. Thin lipped, its purple eyes jumped rapidly between him and his companions. It tried to keep a distance, but did not run away.

Burkin lunged at it almost at the same time as Thorar did. It evaded one of the blades but the other one caught on its arm. Its eyes turned into slits as it must have realized it was fighting for its life. Pacing about on slightly bent knees the beast was getting ready to pounce. Thorar charged again aiming for a second hit this time directly in the stomach. To his surprise the Draphony grabbed the blade, and ignoring the cut in its hand, that dripped blood everywhere,  pulled it with quite a bit of strength.

Surprised, Thorar lost his balance for a moment and watched a fist fly straight for his nose. But before it could reach Burkin intervened and his blade dug into the creature’s side. It groaned and tried to lash out again, this time at its most recent assailant. Inexperienced and already hurt it did not stand a chance though and they finished it off quickly.

“Thanks for that” Thorar said kicking the corpse.

“Don’t mention it, just make sure you don’t underestimate them again.” Burkin was right, he should never forget these are Draphony’s they were dealing with, not humans.

“Did you see that freaking eye!” Saghal was done with his one too. “What an abomination.”

Thorar shrugged. He did not care what his enemy looked like, as long as it could be killed. In fact he found these beasts scary because of their fake humanity, rather that due to their dragon like looks.

They killed three more before  the crystal finally run out of power. By then also the creatures must have realized something was going on as not long after a gong sounded from within the white tower. With a war cry on his lips Thorar through himself into combat.

* * *

The golems he feared earlier on, turned out nothing but useless lumps of clay. They were crushed easily and did not even engage in the battle. The natives turned out more problematic. As the night fell Thorar noticed their eyes changing colour. He quickly learned this was not a good sign, and realized why they attacked at dusk.

A blue eyed beast almost froze his arm off as it tried to rip his throat out. But Burkin and Saghal had his back, the creature did not stand a chance. Together they walked through the courtyard and wreaked havoc. Soon there weren’t many creatures left, so he turned his attention to the buildings. He expected some of the beasts to be hiding inside. 

Thorar lead his companions to the ivory temple located at one edge of the huge courtyard in the centre of the village. During the days that they observed the natives habits they seemed to gather inside there, so he thought it would be a good place to start the search. The building stretched quite a bit, so he decided to start from the left wing.

Inside, the rooms were mostly empty, any furniture he saw was simple, primitive even, put together mostly from raw materials like wood or stone. There was little in the manner of decorations or even personal affects. The only extravagant items he noticed as they explored the hallways were milk white statues of the creatures. He would expect the sculptures to depict kings, or generally important persons, but these looked very much like any of the many creatures he had slain already. He also noticed there were no plaques or other written details neither about the author nor the subject of each statue.

He was almost ready to turn back, as the building seemed empty, and they haven’t encountered a single creature inside the maze of rooms and hallways. But just then his ears caught a faint sound of crying. He signaled Burkin and Saghal, and started walking in the direction from which the noise came.

After a while the crying became louder and he was able to better pin point the direction it came from. A few times they turned the wrong way following the noise, but it turned out that some of the rooms in that direction offered no passage. A few minutes later they finally reached a hallway that lead to the right room.

Thorar pushed the door, but to his surprise it would not budge. Not in the mood for subtleties he backed off a bit and charged at the wood with full force. Partially shattered they burst open and he found himself face to face with one of the creatures. Motionless its wide open, all white eyes looked straight at him, it’s mouth ajar with a shocked expression. He did not wait for it to come to its senses and with one swift move plunged his sword straight into its heart. It made a gurgling noise and a small stream of bloody foam spilled from its lips before it collapsed dead to the floor.

Behind him Burkin was already walking towards the crying babies. Thorar also turned his eyes in that direction.

“These look human.” he said wiping his blade. The six infants in the cots all had green eyes, and no wings or tails.

“Still, they could already be corrupted.” Burkin stated with his usual matter of fact tone as he picked one up. Saghal took another one.

“You don’t know that. They look healthy and...” Thorar stopped mid sentence at the sound of the bones cracking. Burkin snapped the child’s neck. “Are you insane?!”

He wanted to jump and save the other infants, but Burkin stood in his way. Although smaller, he gave Thorar an unexpected shove. Saghal killed another one in the mean time.

“Sanity is not the question here.“ Burkin raised his voice and punched his finger into Thorar’s chest  ”The dragon seed could have been sown in them already. We have a mission to fulfill, and if a sacrifice of innocent lives is needed, so be it.”

In the meantime Saghal like a silent angel of death slain two more with his dagger. Thorar stood open mouthed and stared at Burkin torn between his duty and his conscience. The other two were Brotherhood members and outranked him in this situation. The next moment he turned round and left the room, his blood boiling, not stopping to look behind him.

After a while of brisk marching Thorar left the building. He was fuming. Fighting beast is one thing, but killing innocent children. Especially those that for all he could see were simply human. That was not what he signed-up for, no matter how much gold this paid. He would be sure to report Burkin to one of the officers, maybe even to his friend Urim. This was unacceptable behaviour, surely the Brotherhood would not tolerate such cruelty?

He would have dwelt over this longer if Saghal’s arm didn’t bump into him, as the dwarf ran past him.

“Look! There’s one trying to get away.” Saghal pointed to the edge of the strange forest that seemed to never stand still.

[Bollomaster]

Blue/Azure sa oba tlumaczeniem Blekitu. Jakos tak Red - Blue mi sie nie podoba jako tlumaacznie. Rozumiem, ze tutaj myslisz w sensie pokazania roznicy jezykowej/kulturowej/pojmowania itp. Ale sa dwa problemy

1) Nie planuje sceny osobnej z Ducilla (ona zostaje na statku podczas bitwy - nie jest magiem bojowym)
2) Moze jakby wystepowaly slowa w dialogu to moznaby podkreslic roznice miedzy oficjalnym okresleniem a krasnoludzkim podejsciem. Nie bardzo mam pretekst do rozmowy o czerwieni. Blekit moze byc omawiany nieco pozniej kiedy trafiaja do Blekitnego lasu, ale czy by uzyli jakiegos innego slowa niz Azure (ktore nie bedzie Blue)? Mrugnięcie

Spoko, to tylko sugestia. Błękit inaczej: "Inne", "Mythala", "kraj po drugiej stronie nieba".

Wydawalo mi sie ze jest w miare jasne ze poluja na smoka Mrugnięcie Albo cokolwiek z nim zwiazanego. Raczej wolalabym uniknac podawania tego prosto na tacy czytelnikowi, stad w roznych scenach po trochu dodaje do tego obrazu nienawisci. Moze bedzie to troche lepiej widac podczas raportu jak dodam wiecej o Zamieci i smokach.

W sumie tak się zastanawiam: w jaki sposób te krasnoludy chciały go zatłuc?

Bitwa, czy raczej rzeź - dobra, aż się nóż w kieszeni otwiera na krasnoludów... Thorir będzie tym który przeżyje?

[yish]

He he he, zatluc smoka siekiera i kilofem

A tak bardziej serio, no to czesc na pewno miala jakies marzycielskie wizje jak Thorir - ze bohatersko mieczem w serce itp. Ale mozna tez zakladac, ze mieli jakis sprzet na statku, i ze np. nie cale wojsko poszlo do bitwy, bo przy szacowanej ilosci przeciwnikow, bardziej im sie oplacalo sie maskowac. To jednak znaczylo, ze Ducilla mogla tylko ograniczona ilosc krysztalow przygotowac. Moze rozwine to troche bardziej w dalszym fragmencie.

Juz prawie dochodzimy do konca Kolejny odcinek jeszcze dzisiaj

[yish]

Part V

- - -

Satu burst threw the opening that used to house a door. It was the building where she had earlier left a clutch of children that she was responsible for. She heard the screams across the courtyard and fearing the worst, finished her opponent quickly and rushed back to the house.

The floor was soaked in blood and massacred bodies of the little ones lay everywhere. Not all in one piece. Her blood would have boiled had it been daylight. Instead it almost froze and the air around her nostrils suddenly became crisp and cool. Her head quickly turned to the intruders that have not noticed her entrance yet. They stood at the end of the long room with their back turned to her.

She turned ready to charge right at them, but then she noticed a small spark in the air around them. When they burst laughing she realised the dwarves must have cornered the last of the children. Satu looked at her feet and knowing she needed to act quickly she bent down and placed both her hands on the wet floor.

It only took a blink of an eye for the ice to form. Spreading from her fingers, empowered by the blood it engulfed on the way, the ice encased the attackers. Taken by surprise they froze were they stood. Satu grabbed the nearest heavy object, it happened to be a chair, and slammed it into the biggest dwarf smashing him into tiny crystallised pieces. She didn’t bother with the other two.

The three little ones in front of her were trembling, their eyes closed and their tiny arms raised in anticipation of a blow. The dragonlings on their shoulders ready to pounce with wings extended and teeth exposed.

“Quickly, bond.” she hissed and the dragonlings immediately rushed inside their respective human form’s back. Satu was now faced with three pairs of wide eyes staring at her.

“Hold on to my tail and move as fast as you can.” she said to the blue eyed one. Her tail quickly wrapped itself around the child’s waist as she grabbed the other two in her arms.   

Hoping no one heard the noise she made, Satu swiftly moved towards the door. She had to plan her next move right, as now it wasn’t just her life that was at stake. She had no idea how many other children have perished, or more importantly how many have survived.

She scanned the courtyard assessing the enemy positions. There weren’t many out there, the few she could see were occupied fighting or pursuing her kind. As she weighed her chances of getting to one of the outer buildings without getting noticed, she saw Thomas. He was cowering inside the building she was checking out. Without further hesitation she made a dash for it.

With her dragonling, Pertama, inside her back Satu used the dragonling’s vision to make sure the blue eyed child was able to keep up. The little girl flapped her small wings without grace or rhythm, still quickly enough to keep her hovering just above ground. As if she understood the gravity of the situation, her face was stern with focus. It was good enough for Satu, she would be proud any other time, but at that moment there was no time to waste on such feelings.

“I’m so glad to see you” she whispered to Thomas as she barged inside the house for a short stop. He couldn’t speak Draki, so almost instinctively she switched to Tradyrian, and it filled her mouth with the taste of fresh home-made bread. “You’re alive, this will makes things easier.”

“What things? What the hell is going on here?” Thomas was shaken, his voice high pitched, his eyes pleaded for answers.

“I know as much as you do. One thing is sure, we won’t survive here. The Portal is our only chance.” she said, surprised herself with her matter of fact tone.

“Are you out of your mind!” he said, his voice raised for a moment, before he returned to the whisper. “You know perfectly well we can’t show up in Tradyr just like that. Drares and the other supporters of your kind might be growing in numbers, but this is still nothing compared to those who would be more than happy to see you all dead. Times have changed, even among Tradyrians not all would serve the dragon cause.”

“If we don’t go, there won’t be a cause!” she hissed at him and gestured at the two children she held in her arms, “For all I know these three could be the last young ones. Between the two of us we could salvage some of the knowledge. We can always come back here when it’s safe again.”

Seeing as he was about to open his mouth in protest again, she shoved the two girls into his arms. She scooped up the third one that held on to her tail all this time and stood up straight over his hunched body.

“You will not argue human,” she said with the most commanding tone she could muster, “do not test my patience. I will discuss this with your Drares council when we get to Tradyr, and I will take the responsibility for the decision.”

To show how serious she was, Satu did not wait for his reply. She walked up to the door of the building they were hiding in and run for the building further away from the courtyard. Through Pertama’s single eye, located just beneath her shoulder blades, she watched him follow with the two children grasping at his shirt.

They continued in quick dashes from one building to the other. With each sprint they were further and further from the centre of the village. She made sure to stay in the shadows until they reached the village edge.

From there they had to go through a long stretch of open space to reach the edge of the Azure Forest. She bit her lip, thinking of how exposed in the moonlight they will be until they reach the forest path.

“You got first, I’ll cover your back.” she said in a more friendly tone this time.

He nodded and started running up the hill. Wingless, he would slow them down if they went together, she thought. And with one hand still free, she could stall any pursuers. But he had gone unnoticed and it was her turn to run for the tree line.

Satu bent her knees slightly, tensing her calf she readied herself to spring into air. As she jumped forward, her wings spread and quickly started pounding the air. Her tail moved from side to side for a moment helping to stabilise her flight. She stayed close to the ground, getting closer to Thomas with every flap. At this rate she was able to cover the same distance in half the time he needed.

They followed a path between the quietly shimmering trees. Little irregular size clay golems decorated the edges of the road. Some were chubby, some were thin, but all simplistic, with few details outside of stubby legs and arms without hand or feet. None of them had faces, just a single slit where the eyes would normally be. As Satu passed them the statues lit up from the inside and made a rattling sound as they vibrated. As the dim light hit the shadows trees and bushes the bluish mist receded and the surroundings immediately felt more solid.

But she didn’t have time to slow down so the sound followed all five of them like a quiet cheer in this race for both their freedom and their lives. The Portal was deep within the Azure forest and they had plenty of distance to cover.

More than half-way there Satu heard some voices on the path behind them.

“Damn. Someone must have seen us after all.” she said to Thomas and started to run faster again.

He did not reply, just nodded, already slightly out of breath as he tried to keep up with her.

* * *

Finally they reached a wide clearing at the end of the path. A small shallow pool was located in the centre. It reflected the moonlight creating a serene atmosphere together accompanied by the calming sound of water rushing down the rocks behind the spring. The small waterfall was about the height of a human being. White statues stood In a circle around the pond, all facing the water. To her horror, Satu realized they were all alone in the clearing and she had no clue how to open the portal. She was hoping the keepers would still be here.

“What now?” Thomas asked.

“I’m thinking.” she snapped at him.

She scanned the surroundings. Trying hard to remember what she had seen the few times she has been around the open Portal.

“You will need the crystals, child.” a voice answered her unasked question. It came from somewhere to her right. ”They will focus our energy. You can find them in a box behind the rocks. The key to the box is under the flat, odd shaped stone.”

Satu put down the girl she was carrying and without questioning the advice went to bring the crystals. Behind her a figure slowly emerged from the shadows. The woman dragged one foot after another and although she looked young, her every move was stiff and looked forced through pain and discomfort.

“There’s still some life in old Dau.” she said turning to Thomas “And I guess that the reason you are here is to go through the portal.”

“Tnejn, Ketto and I will help you.” as to confirm the other two came forward on the other side of the clearing, their moves just as awkward as the first woman’s. Their all white eyes would not betray what they looked at, but their heads turned to Satu. “The young ones that were here before left for the village several hours ago.”

“Thank you” said Satu and added in Draki “I almost thought everything was lost.”

The stone was easy to spot when she knew what to look for. She imagined, the lock was only to prevent children from mischief, rather than someone actually stealing the crystals. The gems were about the size of her fist and of the same milky colour as Dau’s eyes. Satu picked all three and went back.

She handed the three crystals to the women. Satu’s skin was pale but still had a healthy, pinkish undertone. The skin of the three older ones was white as alabaster, and cold as stone. She realized what an effort it must have been for them to move. It was a painful reminder about the disease that plagued her kind. They must have been enjoying their last weeks in the peaceful clearing, waiting for the disease to came and claim them.

Dau took the gems and passed them to the other three. She stayed near the entrance to the clearing, while the other two slowly moved to stand on opposite sides of the pool. With their wings stiff, everyone had to wait for the women to walk to their chosen spot.

It took several minutes of silent concentration before the portal formed. The trickling waterfall turned into a rushing cascade, yet the spring in front of it did not overflow. The water glistened with an unnatural glow. Dau confirmed with a nod that they could pass through the portal.

“Go first Thomas”. Satu said and turned to pick up the blue eyed girl.

As she lifted the child her ears picked up a noise coming from the path. Their pursuers must have finally caught up.

“Go, go now!” she shouted to Thomas, who was ankle deep in water and standing a step away from the portal. She was desperate for at least one of them to survive.

Just as he was crossing the barrier of water something came flying at Dau. Satu didn’t see what the object was, but knew it was some sort of a weapon. Blood started coming out of the white eyed woman’s mouth. It dripped on the crystal as she tried to hold on to the now glowing gem. But it was too late for her and a moment later she collapsed to the ground. The blood stained crystal rolled out from her dead hand into the grass.

The portal was starting to change its colour to a faint red glow and the water flow was slowing down. Satu knew this was her only chance and made a wild dash for the waterfall.